


cookie clicker pales in comparison to us

by Glitched_Fox



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, I guess???, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Indulgent, chatfic, i dunno i kinda left it ambiguous in the first chapter at least, i hope anyway, like you have no idea how self indulgent this is, note that i didnt put the no powers AU tag, this is a mess, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-05-30 23:22:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitched_Fox/pseuds/Glitched_Fox
Summary: death juice:you’re all officially invited to my next party.ur angle or yuor debil:do you think dogs are more commonly righties or leftiesbovinedude:nah mate i dont think they’re right-handed or left-handed; they’re just dogsdeath juice:you’re all officially un-invited from my next party(OR: every fandom has a chatfic. and this is super self-indulgent.)





	1. new kid on the blACKOUT

**Author's Note:**

> its currently 2 am as i upload this so that basically explain everything. i'll probably regret this once im awake.

_tarnation [Adventurer] has changed his nickname to notindianajones!_

**hoo hoo:** Oh, that’s a lie and you know it

**notindianajones:** can you at least give me two seconds to appreciate not being made fun of?

**batman:** no

**pistachio ice-cream:** no

**death juice:** no

**hoo hoo:** Maybe one day,

**ch-ch-cherry bomb:** no

**preston goodplay:** no

**miss jackson:** no

**e=mcscared:** no

**notindianajones:** this is cyberbullying. :(

**miss jackson:** change ur name coward

**notindianajones:** i am NOT a coward.

**ch-ch-cherry bomb:** _@Strawberry_

_Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards [Strawberry] has changed notindianajones [Adventurer]’s nickname to bovinedude!_

**bovinedude:** ffffffine

**Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** while im here

_Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards [Strawberry] has added Grapefruit to the chat! Say hi!_

**Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** try not to kill her

**Grapefruit:** sup! :)

**death limited edition cookie comics:** Welcome!

**bovinedude:** howdy!

**hoo hoo:** Oh wow, this is an actual greeting-

**preston goodplay:** hi welcome to chillis

**homestuck on main:** h-hewwo? owo

**hoo hoo:** ...Nice to meet you, Grapefruit

**Grapefruit:** nice to meet you too !

**Grapefruit:** uhh wow theres a lot of you

**homestuck on main:** mawbe we can like. say ouw names. so gwapefwuit knows who we awe owo

**bovinedude:** stop please im begging you

**death limited edition cookie comics:** ...It /is/ a good idea though

**death limited edition cookie comics:** Even though most of us aren’t currently online.

**death limited edition cookie comics:** I’m Hero, btw

**bovinedude:** addie and the homestuck trash is pancake

**homestuck on main:** *owo intensifies*

**hoo hoo:** Im Herb and Im tired™

**death juice:** Sparkling, at your service ma’am~

**Grapefruit:** w. why is that your nick

**hoo hoo:** Every mountain dew flavor. Pureed sour patch kids. Boiled on a stovetop.

**ur angle or yuor debil:** we’re still not sure he survived

**death juice:** fools. I simply ascended to a higher plane of existence than you cowards

**Grapefruit:** can i have some

**death juice:** ;)

**hoo hoo:** We’re all doomed

**death juice:** Grapefruit, darling, you’re invited to my next party~

**Grapefruit:** :O sounds fun!

**hoo hoo:** It really isn’t

**batman:** anyways im brave and _@GingerBright_ ’s nick is batgirl

**miss jackson:** gumball

**e=mcscared:** Alchemist!!

**preston goodplay:** I’m Whipped Cream, and the loser nick’d pistachio ice-cream is actually Wasabi don’t believe anything she says

**pistachio ice-cream:** iiiiii’m pistachio  >:)

**pistachio ice-cream:** oooH DAMN IT WC

**ch-ch-cherry bomb:** and im cherry!

**death limited edition cookie comics:** I believe that’s everyone who’s online right now..?

**Grapefruit:** what about “ur angle or yuor debil” person?

**hoo hoo:** That’s Kumiho

**preston goodplay:** she’s the local cryptid

**Grapefruit:** oh im jealous

**bovinedude:** ARENT WE ALL THO

**hoo hoo:** For once, he isn’t wrong

_Grapefruit changed her nickname to gotta go fast!_

**homestuck on main:** nice

**death juice:** guys I have an idea

**hoo hoo:** oh no

**ur angle or yuor debil:** oh no

**death juice:** I brew coffee but with monster instead of water

**ur angle or yuor debil:** just eat the starbucks employee why dont you

**e=mcscared:** didnt you try that last year during finals??

**death juice:** I. I did??????

**bovinedude:** yeah man hold up lemme get screenshots.

**gotta go fast:** if u dont have school whats the point of a death energy drink like that

**death juice:** I. have too many jobs. and my main one’s a night job.

**gotta go fast:** oof thats rough man

_bovinedude [Adventurer] sent 3 images!_

**death juice:** holy crap I remember literally nothing from that conversation

**hoo hoo:** Are you /sure/ you didn’t put any alcohol in there

**death juice:** yES

**death juice:**

**death juice:** I think.

**e=mcscared:** youre a blackout drunk apparently

**death juice:** I think I’ve had enough alcohol in my lifetime to know that I am NOT-

**gotta go fast:** okay but if you blackout its not like ur gonna remember blacking out

**ch-ch-cherry bomb:** ...new girl’s got a point

**death juice:** none of you have ever seen alcohol in your life.

**e=mcscared:** wine counts, right?

**death juice:** you’re all officially invited to my next party.

**ur angle or yuor debil:** do you think dogs are more commonly righties or lefties

**bovinedude:** nah mate i dont think they’re right-handed or left-handed; they’re just dogs

**death juice:** you’re all officially un-invited from my next party


	2. lemon for smash bros 2k18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO OVENBREAK, LEMON! enjoy your stay ;)

_sugar [Lime] is now online!_

**sugar:** do you ever feel like youre forgetting something but you dont know what

_ping-pong tree sponge [Orange] is now online!_

**ping-pong tree sponge:** well, /now/ i do.

 **sugar:** smth from the old group chat, maybe?

 **ping-pong tree sponge:** well i know a lot of ppl didnt want to join b/c of personal reasons? and i think strawberry added back all the bots and entry messages

 **sugar:** fair enough but smth still seems off

_gotta go fast [Grapefruit] is now online!_

**gotta go fast** guys isnt it weird that our names match up to the Major Hybrid Citrus Fruit Group

 **bovinedude:** i feel like you got that fact from herb.

 **gotta go fast:** oh yea thats almost a direct quote from our DMs

 **bovinedude:** valid.

 **sugar:** huh but arent there four fruits in tha

 **sugar:** oh no

 **ping-pong tree sponge:** what are y

 **ping-pong tree sponge:** OH MY /GOD/

 **gotta go fast:** huh?

 **ping-pong tree sponge:** kjlfdsjfsdjlkrs

 **sugar:** I FORGOT ABOUT MY OWN BROTHERFIODJKLFSDDS

 **ping-pong tree sponge:** HESGON NA K ILL U S OH NO

 **gotta go fast:** lime has a brother..?

 **bovinedude:** i can’t remember if theyre actually related or not

 **sugar:** _@Strawberry_ S A V E U S

 **Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** oh you guys are so dead im so sorry

 **Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** press f to pay respects

 **bovinedude:** f

 **gotta go fast:** haha f

 **hoo hoo:** im only alive for this

 **hoo hoo:** f

 **hoo hoo:** gl m8s

 **ping-pong tree sponge:** KFLDSJKLDSJS THANKS FOR NOTHING HERB

_Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards [Strawberry] has added Lemon to the chat! Say hi!_

**Lemon:** Okay, so first off

 **Lemon:** _@Orange_ I thought you loved me

 **Lemon:** But I go to college and /this/ is how you repay me

 **sugar:** IN OUR DEFENSE, YOU GOT A NEW PHONE NUMBER

 **Lemon:** MY EMAIL’S BEEN THE SAME SINCE I WAS TEN

 **Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** oh he got you there

 **sugar:** you arent helpign

 **Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** i know

 **Lemon:** I HATE YOU ALL

_Lemon changed his nickname to oswald the unlucky lemon [Lemon]!_

**ping-pong tree sponge:** w-why ozzie

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** We have a lot in common, you see.

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** Annoying little siblings, electric abilities, saltiness,

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** How we were forgotten by everyone,

 **sugar:** RUDE

_Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards [Strawberry] made oswald the unlucky lemon [Lemon] a Moderator!_

**Reboot Was A Good Show You Cowards:** reclaim your old status

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** Excellent.

_death limited edition cookie comics [Hero] is now online!_

**oswald the unlucky lemon:** Hero, my good man.

 **death limited edition cookie comics:** Ayyy, Lemon! Welcome back!

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** At least /you/ care about me.

 **death limited edition cookie comics:** Remember that no matter what

 **death limited edition cookie comics:** Taako is probably proud of you

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** HERO YOU GENIUS

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** _@everyone_ Y’all ready to enter The Adventure Zone?

 **death limited edition cookie comics:** OF COURSE

 **death limited edition cookie comics:** I CALL DM

 **oswald the unlucky lemon:** I wanted to play anyway so that works.

 **bovinedude:** nerds.

 **hoo hoo:** I know for a fact you own the monster almanac, Addie

 **bovinedude:** i just think the art and designs are cool :( :(

 **hoo hoo:** nerd

 **bovinedude:** :(

_death juice [Sparkling] is now online!_

**death juice:** hey guys:

 **death juice:** death juice lite

 **hoo hoo:** well I’m off to create a character

 **hoo hoo:** I don’t wanna be involved in the death of Sparkling

 **death juice:** you know what? that’s fair.


	3. subgroup oblivion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone asked for vamp. i delivered vamp.

**SUBGROUP: modern fantasy**

**PARTICIPANTS: Vampire [Online], Werewolf [Online], Moon Rabbit [Online], Angel [Offline], Kumiho [Offline], Fairy [Offline], Fire Spirit [Online]**

 

**#VampireRights2k18:** okay listen up maggots

**#VampireRights2k18:** so the full moons coming up

**im not a furry:** It seems like the full moon’s always coming up with how often you say that

**#VampireRights2k18:** yeah it happens 12-13 times a year

**h-hewwo:** youre p focused on full moons for being the only one out of the three of us it doesnt affect

**#VampireRights2k18:** h e y  n o w

**h-hewwo:** yoURE AN ALL-STAR

 

**_foxy lady [Kumiho]_ ** _ is now online! _

 

**foxy lady:** GET YOUR GAME ON

**foxy lady:** GO PLAYYYYY

**im not a furry:** Why are you all like this

**foxy lady:** u jus dont understand kids these days, wolfy

**im not a furry:** Kumiho, I will personally drag you to Wind Archer

**foxy lady:** i would prefer if you didnt,

 

**_Tinkerbell [Fairy]_ ** _ is now online! _

 

**_foxy lady [Kumiho]_ ** _ has changed her nickname to  _ **_anti-windarcher [Kumiho]_ ** _! _

 

**Tinkerbell:** Oh My…

**anti-windarcher:** @windy BURN BABY BURN

**anti-windarcher:** YOUR FOREST IS NO HOME OF MINE, BIH!

**Tinkerbell:** I Regret Coming Online

**#VampireRights2k18:** _ @Fire Spirit  _ i /know/ you want in on this discourse

**Tinkerbell:** What Did Wind Archer Do To You???

**anti-windarcher:** he E X I S T E D

**Tinkerbell:** That’s.

**Tinkerbell:** You Know What? I’m Not Gonna Argue With Kumiho

**im not a furry:** Wise move

**h-hewwo:** one of these days we’ll find out what vamp was gonna say

**h-hewwo:** but that day is not today

**#VampireRights2k18:** i direct you to my nick

 

**_@everyone [Fire Spirit]_ ** _ is now online! _

 

**@everyone:** who tagged me and why

**#VampireRights2k18:** just scroll up, man

**h-hewwo:** inb4 he yells abt being the president of the anti-wind club

**@everyone:** _ @Kumiho  _ youre my new favorite

**anti-windarcher:** NICE

**anti-windarcher:** iirc that means im protected from the end of the world, right

**@everyone:** mmhm

**anti-windarcher:** N I C E

**Tinkerbell:** Fire Spirit’s Gonna Destroy The World?

**@everyone:** eventually

**im not a furry:** That’s what he says, anyway

**@everyone:** its gonna happen; just u wait

**@everyone:** as soon as sea moon n wind get off my back its over for you fools

**im not a furry:** Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten yourself on so many watchlists, hm?

**@everyone:** youll be the first to burn,

**h-hewwo:** rip wolfy, 18XX - 2018

 

-

 

**Direct Messages: Alchemist + Vampire**

 

**Vampire:** alch

**Vampire:** alchy

**Vampire:** sis

**Vampire:** …

**Vampire:** theres half a cake left sitting on my desk

**Alchemist:** What do you want from me?

**Vampire:** oh good youre alive

**Vampire:** see, sparklings having a party tomorrow night

**Alchemist:** And he banned you from his house?

**Vampire:** IT WAS A JOKE BUT HE DIDNT UNDO IT

**Alchemist:** Have you considered:

**Alchemist:** He just doesn’t want to find you on his couch every morning anymore?

**Vampire:** :(

**Vampire:** thats no reason to enforce vamp rules on me :(

**Alchemist:** Well, actually,

**Vampire:** BETRAYED BY MY OWN SISTER I CAN TBELIEVE TGIS

 

-

 

**Direct Messages: Alchemist + Sparkling**

 

**Alchemist:** I heard you’re having a party tomorrow night?

**Sparkling:** hm? oh yeah

**Sparkling:** did you need details or..?

**Alchemist:** As much as it pains me to say this, I’m actually DMing you on behalf of my brother.

**Sparkling:** Vamp?

**Sparkling:** OH DID HE TEL YOU THE THING ABOUT GETTING BANNED FROM MY HOME

**Alchemist:** Bullseye.

**Sparkling:** he brought it upon himself,

**Alchemist:** Eh, I get it.

**Alchemist:** I’ve almost done it more than once.

**Sparkling:** he wants to go to the party, huh?

**Alchemist:** I’ll let you use my alchemy set~

**Sparkling:** /death juice pro/

**Sparkling:** d e a l

 

-

 

**Direct Messages: Alchemist + Vampire**

 

**Alchemist:** You owe me half a cake.

**Vampire:** BLESS


End file.
